About Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative Practice is a relatively new legal process. Its intention is to humanely resolve disputes by restoring control to you, the couple. The collaborative process works to maintain mutual respect and transparent communication to help you identify and meet your individual and family’s needs.
Choosing Collaborative Divorce allows you the benefit of working with collaboratively trained lawyers, along with a highly trained professional team that may include a mental health coach and a financial specialist. The team approach is unique to collaborative process, and I believe is integral to its success.
The collaborative team’s focus is to understand your unique circumstances and assist you in creatively brainstorming workable solutions specific to your legal, emotional, financial, and parenting concerns. The mental health coach and financial specialist are neutral in their place on the team. That means they support both parties to work together to reach their goals.
The collaborative process does not involve the court system, thereby avoiding court costs and allowing you to create a settlement that uniquely meets your needs and those of your spouse.
If you are in the process of divorcing and the collaborative process sounds as if it might work for you, please contact me. I would be honored to support you through this difficult transition.
I offer a free, 30-minute, initial meeting. During this meeting, I introduce myself, listen to the needs and concerns of each of you, pay attention to your communication styles, and answer any questions you might have. We then determine if a collaborative divorce would be a good fit for you both.
If it is, we next meet individually for an hour. During this meeting, I gather more marital history, including familiar emotional hot-spots between you and your spouse, plus information about communication strengths and weaknesses and desired outcomes. If you have Collaborative Lawyers already selected, we then schedule a meeting together as a team. If you don’t, I can offer you the names of several lawyers to select from.
My role as a Collaborative Coach is to support the couple and the collaborative team to engage in clear, constructive communication, attend to the emotions that can and will surface, and enhance good will. I also work to identify patterns that might create sticking points, which are communication styles that push buttons and expose blind spots that could derail the process.
My role is not as a therapist, but I do draw on my therapeutic training and skills to support you through this life transition. I also help you to clarify goals for yourself, each other, and your family.
Working as a Collaborative Coach is meaningful to me both personally and professionally. I believe in collaborative coaching, and I have seen its benefits. In going through my own divorce, I experienced first-hand the intensity of emotion that comes up in taking apart a marriage. I also experienced the unnecessary harm and intimidation that the legal system can bring to a divorcing couple. The adversarial nature of traditional divorce made co- parenting difficult. I knew it didn’t have to be that way.
A colleague introduced me to Collaborative Law several years ago. I was thrilled and hopeful that a kinder, gentler divorce process could exist. I began referring my divorcing clients to collaboratively trained lawyers. In the spring of 2013, I took the extensive training necessary to be a certified Collaborative Mental Health Coach, and I became part of this monumental movement.
I have to say my hopes have been realized. The professionals involved in Collaborative Law are sincere in their desire to minimize the negative aspects of traditional divorce. I believe that learning to settle disputes in this compassionate way will change the world. I am thrilled to be part of that change.