More From the Couch



Many of you may remember I started this blog with the story of my couch. Did I deserve it or did I want it? My couch.


I am very sorry to report I have been unhappy with my couch since I got it a year and a half ago. The problem? It was the most uncomfortable couch I had ever sat on. Well, no, I take that back, I remember sitting on couches at fraternity parties that were equally as uncomfortable. When I sat on my coveted new couch my butt sunk 6 inches below my knees. It was like I was sitting in a hole. I had to hoist myself off the couch (no pun intended-but it is a good one) by rocking back and forth to gain momentum and then heave my butt forward on the up swing to get out. Not only did I feel ridiculous, it was embarrassing. I was so disappointed in my new couch. 


I tried very hard to like my expensive, beautiful couch. I assumed, as I often do “It must be me.” So I took naps on it, thinking a good nap would endear me to it. I admired it from afar hoping it’s beauty would soften my heart. I sat in different positions, using various sized throw pillows strategically placed in the small of my back or under my butt, so I could feel more supported.  Nothing helped. I never fell in lo ve. This reminded me of the boyfriend my parents wanted me to marry. He went to Naval Academy. I was raised in a military family with the expectation of marring a military man. A military officer was even better. So I tried to love him. I really did. We dated my senior year in high school into college and then again my junior year in college. I tried to follow my parents wishes. But, like with the couch, although he was beautiful and expensive, when I was with him, I never felt comfortable. It didn’t matter the amount of rearranging myself I did, I kept returning to “No, this is not my future husband (or my couch).”



So I called Arhaus furniture store. I explained my dilemma. They sent a service man to look at the sofa. He said I needed new foam cores (new couch cushions to you and me).  Eight weeks later three new sofa cushions arrived. I immediately sat down to watch a movie. By the end of the movie my butt was 4 inches lower than the top of the cushion beside me. Damn-it.


“Is it me?” I again wondered. The next day I went to the Arhaus showroom to sit on the floor model. I needed a reality check. Maybe the couch is supposed to sit like it is 20 years old (Like the pricey jeans that look like they have been worn by a construction worker whose job was to roll around on concrete or the furniture that is so beaten up you pay extra for it).


I found Sherri, the woman who helped me with my initial purchase. I told her my saga. She took me to the floor room model and I sat down. “Now this is the couch I bought!” I exclaimed, reassured I wasn’t crazy. Sherri suggested I call customer service…again.


I am nothing if not persistent.


I called customer service (They are now on my autodial). Jennifer said they would send a service man to see what the problem was. I suggested something was wrong with the couch. She suggested different “all foam” cores. The service man they send agreed. Eight weeks later, three new cores, all foam, arrived.


Deja vu. I was sitting with my knees in my chest again.  I was vacillating between giving up and going postal. Tom was beginning to tease me. He joked that when Arhaus customer service saw my phone number on their caller id they fought over who took my call. Finding no humor in his pictorial I asked him if he was happy with the couch. He admitted he was not.


I called again. Nine cushions later. Customer service assured me more cores would be sent. I ASKED TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER! After explaining the 14 month drama of cushion cores, my attempt to love an unlovable couch, and my now chronic back pain, the manager said, ”Well it seems silly to send more cores when you have 9 already. I think there is something wrong with your couch.” Smart woman.


It wasn’t me! I was vindicated!


Earlier this week the new couch arrived. I said some prayers. I held my breath and sat down.


The couch held me, like a good boyfriend.  My butt didn’t drop to the floor. I watched 2 movies in comfort.  When I got up to make popcorn-I just stood up. No butt hoisting. I am in love!!!


My couch.


I am glad I trusted my experience.



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