Staycation continued

Day 4 Thursday

The last 3 days Tom has been traveling making my staycation solitary. I planned it this way. Time alone would afford me the luxury self indulgence. And it did, I just didn’t realize how much!

The subtle and not so subtle influence of another body in the house (even when I adore the other body) was incredibly disruptive to my internal gyroscope. I found myself no longer asking what I want, but following the strongest current in the room. This found me on the phone with appliance people, leaving a message for a plumber, and on the computer searching for a strapless swim suit so I don’t have tan lines on my wedding day. Important stuff, but did I want to do this today? This morning? I didn’t even ask myself, I just rode the wave co- created by Tom and I.

My morning felt disjointed, disrupted and stressful. I noticed had no guidance from my internal level. And I was clear- I didn’t like it!!

So my challenge is how to be in relationship with myself and with “my love” at the same time.  Shuttling between myself and “the other” while paying attention to my sensation or feelings. Then allowing my sensation to inform my action or choice. Whew, first thing in the morning?

Generally I am good at multitasking.

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